Coco Cacophony

My wife has a guitar that she no longer plays, and it’s currently being using as a decoration in our my loft. I know, I know… you’re thinking, “Coco, you’re just trying to appear musically sophisticated, when the truth is you don’t know a fret from a fart.” You’re wrong, and I have a bulletproof alibi to prove it- if appearing educated, cultured, and enlightened is my intent, then I would proudly display my drum set in the middle of my dining room.

We all know that drums represent the epitome of musical sophistication (with an added dash of raw sexuality and calculated mischief). It’s science. Without exception, music historians and theorists have established the pinnacle of musical expression to have happened during “The Golden Age of Drum Innovation” (6500 b.c.), and generally agree that musical creativity has steadily diminished during the 8500 years since that rhythmic renaissance.

…but I digress.

So- I have this guitar, and I’ve noticed that whenever I have a guitar-playing friend at my house, they invariably pick up my guitar, spend a minute or two tuning it, strum a couple cords, and then set it back down. Apart from the disproportionate ratio of tuning to strumming, I’ve always been curious how this guitar gets soooo out of tune. Even more alarming- the guitarist usually makes a comment like, “Wow, this ‘puppy’s’ out of tune!” or “You haven’t played this in a while, have you.” (when they know I’ve never played that guitar)

Now, I know that guitars get out of tune quickly. (some even have double necks, so the musician doesn’t have to change guitars in the middle of a song… right?) But for a guitar that doesn’t get moved, played or exposed to extreme elements, I’m surprised at how poorly it holds its tune.

Well… a couple weeks ago my skepticism were confirmed. I hosted a party and, as improbable as it was, TWO guitarists were there! Unbeknownst to each other, both of them performed the same “ritual”, within a 1/2 hour of each other! (pick up guitar… tune… tune some more… comment about how out of tune it was… strum a couple cords… then set it down) Although I was tempted, I didn’t say anything to them. (but that guitar has never been a greater source of entertainment!)

Now, you also know the secret of how to become a guitar expert, and I encourage you to do this whenever you encounter an unattended guitar. Who knows, you may even get invited to join a band!

I took this over a 45 minute period (between 5:15 and 6:00pm) on Novemeber 6th, 2007, from this (GoogleMaps) location above St. Paul.