Coco Cacophony

Get the latest Flash Player to see this player.

A few months ago my brother spotted a mouse at work. (Well, not at work, but rather at the location of where we work. Actually, he might have been working; I really don’t know.)  After a 15 minute chase, he was cornered into an office, and frankly, his future didn’t look promising. I convinced my brother to let me do the humane (and possibly mousane) thing, and drop him off at a field on my way home from work.

On my way home, plans changed.  It has just snowed 10″, and I became concerned he wouldn’t adapt to the harsh environment. That night, my wife and I bought some supplies to keep him comfortable though the winter.  He immediately took residence in the Tiki Hut, and has rarely shown his face.  We won’t see him for weeks at a time, and only then after long waits in silence.

When we do clean his cage, he’s forced to acknowledge us, which he does with a look of contempt I never thought possible from a mouse.  He hates us with every ounce/gram of his being.  He gives us a long, unblinking stare, while ever-so-slowly shaking his head.

We’ve grown quite attached to Óðinn, but don’t know if keeping him caged is in his best interest.  Will he survive in the wild after being provided an endless supply of mouse food, sunflower seeds and yogurt treats?  Would he be happier in a much larger cage (a “Mouse Valhalla”)?

By the way, we’re aware of the health issues concerning a feral mouse (specifically Hantavirus) and take precautions when cleaning his cage.

My wife has a guitar that she no longer plays, and it’s currently being using as a decoration in our my loft. I know, I know… you’re thinking, “Coco, you’re just trying to appear musically sophisticated, when the truth is you don’t know a fret from a fart.” You’re wrong, and I have a bulletproof alibi to prove it- if appearing educated, cultured, and enlightened is my intent, then I would proudly display my drum set in the middle of my dining room.

We all know that drums represent the epitome of musical sophistication (with an added dash of raw sexuality and calculated mischief). It’s science. Without exception, music historians and theorists have established the pinnacle of musical expression to have happened during “The Golden Age of Drum Innovation” (6500 b.c.), and generally agree that musical creativity has steadily diminished during the 8500 years since that rhythmic renaissance.

…but I digress.

So- I have this guitar, and I’ve noticed that whenever I have a guitar-playing friend at my house, they invariably pick up my guitar, spend a minute or two tuning it, strum a couple cords, and then set it back down. Apart from the disproportionate ratio of tuning to strumming, I’ve always been curious how this guitar gets soooo out of tune. Even more alarming- the guitarist usually makes a comment like, “Wow, this ‘puppy’s’ out of tune!” or “You haven’t played this in a while, have you.” (when they know I’ve never played that guitar)

Now, I know that guitars get out of tune quickly. (some even have double necks, so the musician doesn’t have to change guitars in the middle of a song… right?) But for a guitar that doesn’t get moved, played or exposed to extreme elements, I’m surprised at how poorly it holds its tune.

Well… a couple weeks ago my skepticism were confirmed. I hosted a party and, as improbable as it was, TWO guitarists were there! Unbeknownst to each other, both of them performed the same “ritual”, within a 1/2 hour of each other! (pick up guitar… tune… tune some more… comment about how out of tune it was… strum a couple cords… then set it down) Although I was tempted, I didn’t say anything to them. (but that guitar has never been a greater source of entertainment!)

Now, you also know the secret of how to become a guitar expert, and I encourage you to do this whenever you encounter an unattended guitar. Who knows, you may even get invited to join a band!

I took this over a 45 minute period (between 5:15 and 6:00pm) on Novemeber 6th, 2007, from this (GoogleMaps) location above St. Paul.

Type of Invention: Improvement on an existing tool.

Probability of Success: 5 (on a scale of 1-10)

Synopsis: Fingernail/toenail clipper with a rubber “gripper”

As we’ve all experienced, whenever we clip our nails, the clippings usually go flying all over the place. I always try to clip my finger and toe nails over a waste basket, but a few clippings end flying off course, and then I’m trying to track the little guys down. It’s easier in the summer when I can do it outside, but I live in Minnesota, so that’s not always practical. My brothers like to clip their nails with the scissors tool on their swiss army knife, but I’ve never liked that- it takes too long, and it feels weird to me.  So, what if inside, behind the sharp metal “mouth” of the clipper were two small rubber pads (one on top, one on bottom) that compress against the top and bottom part of the nail getting clipped off. When the nail gets clipped the rubber pads are gripping the nail clipping, preventing it from flying across the room.  The rubber pads are hard enough that the nail clipping does not stick to them, and when the clipper’s mouth is opened, the nail clipping falls away. Any opinions?

Update on the previous “Benvention”. My brother Jeff upgraded it’s probability of success from a 3 to a 7. He really liked the idea. Steams? If you’re interested, man, I’d try to help however I could. I just want more varieties of Mountain Dew!

• I’ve been on over 50 flights in my life, yet I’ve only gone to the bathroom once, which happened last December. (I’ve had several flights over 8 hours long!)

• I’m the youngest of 3 brothers, but the tallest (by 1″) and the heaviest (by 25 lbs.)

• I learned to play drums in school, and was my church drummer for 5 years.

• I am a very finicky eater, and I especially don’t like cooked vegetables including squash, carrots (I love raw carrots), beans, broccoli, asparagus, spinach, beets, potato-au-gratin and cauliflowers.

Well, here’s a little something something to keep you coming back. Hopefully I’ll have internet access to keep the story going.

Adventures of Charftong and Steams

I definitely don’t want a blog that only consists of links, so I’ll just get this done with once and for all. First, Scientific American has an interesting article on global warming (of which I am a skeptic). It’s the best discussion I’ve ever seen about the subject and even if you don’t care about global warming you might still find it interesting… Are you a Global Warming skeptic? (link is broken)

The next fun link I have is just a silly commercial that you’ve probably seen already (I’m always slow with this kind of stuff):

What can I say? He’s always been the clown at our family reunions, and now this? He sure knows how to make me smile!

… Jakub, Jakub, Jakub….

From the article… “At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives . . . and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away,” Dolan said. Included in the hurled items was the man’s penis.

Apparently, Charf has decided to start virtually pooping on my blog (how come it smells like peppers around here?) God bless his little soul, because he’s about to get what he’s asking for- a new blog. He can expect several juicy, succulent blogs a little later today (once I’m on a plane and have time to type something). Until then, I’ve got to pack my speedo and my nose plug, ’cause I’m outa’ here.

For all of those who been asking, heres a picture, or at least a close representation of Steams and Chaftong. Charf is obviously the one holding the sniper rifle.